Romeo & Juliet or Cinderella & Prince Charming?
Do you remember the book Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus (John Gray, May 1992)? While I don’t necessarily agree with everything that the author had to say, I do have to admit that there are times when I wonder if my partner is even from the same universe, never mind the same planet!
Communication in a relationship is the one area that always seems to be a minefield, and sometimes it feels like it can be almost impossible to get right. The trouble is that we are unconscious of the way in which we communicate so it is a tough area to work on. One of my colleagues pointed out to me that even silence can be a form of communication. Ladies, think about this: how many times have you decided that the man in your life has gone too far, and his actions now deserve The Silent Treatment?
We all grew up with a fairytale view of relationships and romance, so perhaps the best way for us to understand the importance of good communication is through a modern fairytale, based on some real people.
Once Upon A Time there was a Beautiful, Fair Maiden called Gwendolyn. Along with flowing hair and beautiful skin, the maiden has a dominant right ear, dominant right eye and dominant right hand. As a result of her dominant modalities, the beautiful Gwendolyn is what we would call a Tough Cookie. She gets to the point quickly, saying what she believes needs to be said, and is often unaware that the factual way in which she says things can be misunderstood by others as a lack of empathy and caring. Nothing could be further from the truth for Gwendolyn is actually a very caring soul. Sadly, when Gwendolyn’s direct speaking manner is combined with her frequent obliviousness to the body language of others, our beautiful maiden can be seen as cold and unsympathetic rather than caring and concerned; not a good impression at all, wouldn’t you agree?
Her Knight in Shining Armour, the dashing Fabio, on the other hand, has a sparkly smile, winning eyes and is left ear dominant and left eye dominant. As a result of his dominant eye and ear, he is very sensitive to how something is said, as well as being very aware of the body language of the people around him.
Every fairytale has an element of conflict and happily ever after (complete harmony). In Gwendolyn and Fabio’s romance the happily ever after will be as a result of each person being aware of the way that the other communicates. For Gwendolyn it will be making sure that Fabio does not subconsciously interpret her bad day at the office as being his fault. Similarly Fabio needs to clarify what Gwendolyn intended to say before overreacting. This type of understanding will help our lovebirds avoid a Romeo and Juliet tragedy and rather have a Cinderella and Prince Charming fairytale.
Apart from our regular individual profiles, we also specialise in couples profiles. It is such an enlightening experience to have both your profiles done, whether you are just getting to know each other or have been married for many years.
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Like many other things in life, communication is a skill that can be learnt, and in our most important relationships, it is most definitely a skill that it is worth acquiring. After all, isn’t your Fair Maiden or Prince Charming worth it?
If you need any help finding out how your partner communicates or to fine tune your own communication skills to achieve your happily ever after – please contact us for a consultation.
We wish you all a very happy ever after in your relationships!
Yours in learning success,
Annette & Team